Why Quality Time With Kids Matters More Than Quantity

It's been said time after time that "quality trumps quantity." It turns out this philosophy rings true for families, too. When it comes to parenting, a large-scale study published in the April edition of "Journal of Marriage and Family" claims that family time may be best measured in moments, not minutes.

The research, which was also detailed in a recent Washington Post article, shows that the actual amount of time mothers spend with their young children (ages 3-11) doesn’t impact their development nearly as much as the way they spend the time together.

"I could literally show you 20 charts, and 19 of them would show no relationship between the amount of parents' time and children's outcomes,” Melissa Milkie, sociologist at the University of Toronto and co-author of the report, told The Post.

They've determined what matters more is a parent's temperament during time together. Many parents — specifically mothers — stress themselves out trying to spend as much time with their children as possible. But the research shows that time spent with parents who are stressed, anxious, and sleep deprived can actually be harmful to children.

"In an ideal world, this study would alleviate parents' guilt about the amount of time they spend, and show instead what's really important for kids," Milkie told The Post.

Past studies have suggested that when parents maximize the time they do spend by engaging in relationship-building activities such as reading, talking, or eating together, this time is more beneficial to children than simply trying to spend as much as together as possible.

But things change when kids reach adolescence. The "Journal of Marriage and Family" study found that teenagers who spent an average of six hours a week engaged in face-to-face activities with their mothers, such as sharing meals and playing games, not only boast higher math scores, but are less likely to drink, use drugs or engage in other delinquent behaviors.

Overall, a mindful approach to time spent with kids can lead to better health — and happiness — for the whole family.